This woman came in wearing a bulky straw hat and braces on her protruding teeth, wanting to use the computer yesterday. Library policy requires a card for full Internet access; drivers license for just email. The girl (we'll call her Sybil) then began an unwanted explanation about what she needed to do.
Apparently this girl has a sister who is married. The couple is very religious. Somehow their beliefs are jeopardizing not only this girl, but also her work environment. Yesterday she went in to great yet hurried detail of the travesties performed against her by her sister and brother-in-law's hands and how she desperately needed to report them to OSHA.

No, I don't know why OSHA is involved in this religious dispute.

Very patiently I explained our policy, like a good little automaton, and she huffed her way out the door.
She came back today, this time with a library card, so off she went to the wonderful world of web. Twenty minutes later she approached with email trouble.

Sybil: "I don't know the incoming mail pop server?"

Me: "Are you in Outlook?"

Sybil: "No, I'm in email."

We don't use Outlook yet every weirdo who comes in here rarely tries to use it. I gently explained this, plus asked what her email provider normally is.

Sybil: "It's hotberry@ -- "

Me: "No, is it Yahoo, Hotmail...?" Maneuvered her onto Yahoo to log in, but of course, the log in she has doesn't work.

Sybil: "Can I use your phone for, like, a minute?"

Dialed three different numbers for her, none of which would go through thanks to our locked down phone system, so the fourth call was to her sister. Yes, the zealot sister.

Sybil: "Need a favor. Can you tell me my email password?"

Across the telephone line I can clearly hear the sister yell no.

Sybil: "Please? Well can you give me your email?"

Sister: "No!"

Sybil: "I have to send an email...to tell OSHA where I've been home...'cause yall aren't treating me right! You are blindly listening to your husband, who's basing himself off twelve years, and it's not right! Just because I'm not married doesn't mean I'm insane!"

The girl is not two feet from me and as she gets louder and louder I finally have to look at her. Big mistake.

Sybil: "There's a girl here who I'll put on the phone to tell you --"

Me : "No, this is getting inappropriate."

Sybil: "No, she won't talk to you -- cause you're wrong!"

Me: "This phone call is getting inappropriate!"

Got her off the phone and after she started to leave but then had the brilliant idea to just create a new email account! After she was set working on the new account, I left for break, only to return to more lunacy when I came back. By this point she had a new email and had written the message again, but told me, "All I need is confirmation help in when to send the inquiry confirmation."

What the fuck?! So I followed Sybil back to her computer, where I see she writes as well as she speaks, but more importantly she had entered the website for OSHA in the address line. Not-so-patiently I explained the difference, which was answered with exasperated sighs. Sent her to OSHA and together we searched for a contact email.
Short time later I escaped only to be called back again when she was trying to send the email to the First Assembly of God -- as a whole! She didn't have a particular person she was trying to reach; not even a particular congregation! "Let's email Kermit," she decided. Recognizing the name of a local minister, I pulled out the Newcomers Guide and showed her his address and phone number.

Sybil: "But I have to email! I have to email anyone who will listen to me! Isn't there an email directory?!"

Me: "I think you're best bet at this point is to call someone..."

Sybil: "Nobody gives me the credentials when I call them..."

Another exciting day in the Reference room, huh?!